A Heap of Broken Images

Sun, 20 Mar 2005 10:56:21 GMT

So yeah. It's Spring Break. My last official "fling" before graduation and what am I doing? I'm sitting at my girlfriend's house three-hundred miles from home and whining into the void of the internet at four fricking twenty in the morning. See, I was initially pretty flattered when MH suggested we spend our break together, even though I knew it meant I was finally going to have to undergo the dreaded ritual known as "meeting the parents". Originally that was only part of the deal: Go to her house, meet her folks and then head out to do something "fun". Now I'm stuck here for a freaking week and engaging in such exiting activities as helping her parents move and, having my every action evaluated as I have now been acknowledged as "husband material". MH is being more frustrating and contradictory than usual, and frankly I'm beginning to get a bit annoyed with the mixed signals. Sometimes I feel like she wants to date me and have all of the perks of being in a committed relationship without any, well, commitment. I'm not talking about getting engaged or anything, but I'd at least like to be able to have a bit of security. I feel whiny and clingy even when I have every right to expect a straight answer. And don't even get me started on the "I can make suggestive comments at you all day long, but kisses lasting for more than five seconds (I'm dead serious we're talking peck kisses here) make me 'uncomfortable'" thing. I'm in a relationship with a girl who was interested in me first, and made the first "moves", yet I feel like now that I'm in it I'm the only one making any effort. And I DO care about her. I love her. I can't think of anyone else I'd rather hang out with -much less date, but I want to feel like I'm not the only one trying dammit. I want to have her be a little more direct, a little more consistent, and darn it all, a little more affectionate. As it stands I'd rather be sitting at home watching Forensic Files with the cat in my lap.

Ugh ugh ugh... And yes, the lack of paragraphs is a crime against humanity. Someone say something. Anything. Preferably something nice... I just need outside contact right now.

Bwahahaha...

Fri, 03 Dec 2004 20:48:50 GMT

:: how jedi are you? ::

Oh yeah, a_dragons_spirt... I've got a big ball of force ligtning with your little backwards-speaking green assed name on it. Pitiful Jedi.

Hope it's talking about the band...

Mon, 29 Nov 2004 00:38:53 GMT

'Cause if it is, that rocks. If not... O_o


bush is love
brought to you by the isLove Generator

So yeah. Thanksgiving was better than I thought it would be... We had homemade Turkey and Dressing after all, and ham... and then my mom's special ham soup. My mom's Ham soup is soo... darn... good... *drool*

In fact it's so good it almost made up for the fact that my girlfriend cannot understand the concept of "Call me to let me know you made it safely." Not "Call me every day, and talk for two hours". Just "Call me to let me know you made the drive of several hours to your house and then several more to Austin safely." Am I too clingy? Is this obsessive? Honestly... We've been dating for a while now, and she wants me to meet her parents... So is it wrong that I worry about her, knowing that she's a terrible driver? I know she hates talking on the phone. Hell, I do too... I just wanted to know that she was ok. Simple five minute conversation and she can get back to her family. Plus, we were away from each other for the better part of five days. Don't you think she'd be interested in how my Thanksgiving went? I would have called her, but I imagined the response I usually get: Irritation, forced smalltalk, then an "Someone needs the phone". This from the girl who can talk my ear off for two hours about her latest Manga purchases. Plus, I figure I would have heard if something terrible had happened...

I guess this is really about feeling like I have a place on her list of priorities. I'm not asking for top of the heap, mind you, but being buried under TV, internet, books, and random shiny objects kind of sucks.

Anyway... I'm going to go hang out with hera_tyc who apparently is having problems too. Listening to other people's troubles generally makes mine seem more bearable.

Uck...

Thu, 18 Nov 2004 09:04:36 GMT

It's really frustrating when you begin to realize that you have feelings for someone while simultaneously feeling like you will never be as important to them as fictional characters and anonymous people in chat rooms.

Just call me Quizzy McQuizquiz from Quizville USA

Fri, 12 Nov 2004 21:44:38 GMT

Yeah. Sorry it's been so long since I've posted. I fear that if I had tried to post anything in the last few weeks it would have ended up being naught but wank. So anyway... I was too amused by these quiz results to resist posting it. I'm sure spookikatt will be happy with her role. As for a_dragons_spirt... Hehe...

If George Lucas Cast Star Wars from Your Friend List, He'd Pick... by athersgeo
Username
Luke Skywalker	shadow_dlp
Han Solo	ralphietheroomy
Princess Leia	schnauzy
C-3PO	librarianhawk
R2D2	a_dragons_spirt
Wedge Antilles	hannahs_nanny
Obi-Wan Kenobi	wrongly_amused
Darth Vader	spookikatt
Grand Moff Tarkin	all_id_forces
The Emperor	gotzmyntruehope

Quiz created with MemeGen!

So yeah... Not much to report except that I'm swamped with work but feeling pretty good anyway. Saw Super Milk Chan last night and immediately fell in love. I'm still not sure exactly what it was I fell in love with though...
Other than that, I just wanted to post my new icon which is a disturbingly accurate likeness of me, I must say.

Anywho... I'm supposed to be buying MH a cup of coffee right now, so I think I shall post more later (hopefully that means tomorrow).

Yeah... Right...

Thu, 28 Oct 2004 15:22:30 GMT

Stolen from hera_tyc:

I think most of the people I know are too busy squabbling and getting mad at each other for stupid crap to notice me half of the time...

Just a brief update...

Tue, 19 Oct 2004 10:05:56 GMT

Today was... Today was a comfortable day. Nothing was accomplished; I just sat on the couch with MH and Dani and watched TV. Saw the end of the new Farscape miniseries, and thought that it was decent but also that it could have been a hell of a lot better. Good episodes of Futurama, Detective Conan, and (my personal favorite) Lupin III more than made up for it though. I've also resolved to drastically slow the spending of money I do not have. We'll see how far I get with that, as I'm going to Best Buy with spookikatt tomorrow.

Oh, and I have a giant, nasty-ass blister on my little toe. I keep expecting something to crawl out of it, which is probably a sign I've seen way too many horror films. Until next time, beware the toe-burster...

This about sums me up.

Mon, 18 Oct 2004 07:49:23 GMT

I'm depressed

why is YOUR livejournal annoying?
brought to you by Quizilla

All good things must come to an end.

Mon, 04 Oct 2004 08:06:04 GMT

Well... Things have been going steadily downhill recently and it seems they've hit rock bottom. Of course whenever I say that, life generally sees it as a challenge to get out the shovel and dig me a basement. Come to think of it, I could use a basement. Or a cave. Somewhere where I could hide out until all this crap is over.

Ugh.

Thu, 30 Sep 2004 23:45:00 GMT

In a not-so-startling turn of events I am having "one of those days". Yes, one of those days where you wake up to discover your creepy-ass roommate has left an opened frozen diner on your dresser for no apparent reason. Which wouldn't be so bad except that you have to use said dresser to climb down out of your bunk. He also left chicken wings sitting out on my dresser for no apparent reason yesterday. The really disturbing thing is that both of these things are supposed to be kept in the freezer, but he doesn't keep them in the freezer. He keeps them in the refrigerator. Then he just leaves them out. The chicken wings have been out since yesterday. The TV dinner has been out since this morning. I guess he's trying to commit suicide with salmonilla or something. Or maybe the "SPAghetti" is more "DElicious" when it has a healthy bacteria growth. Ugh.

What else? Oh yeah. My entire crew is sleeping the day away, and I left my PS2 controller, memory card, and current gaming obsession (Realms of Everquest: Champions of Norrath) in their room. I really wanted to watch a movie with someone, or at the very least play "Realms of Everquest: Champions of Stopping to Go to the Shop Every Five Fricking Minutes" with hera_tyc...

Oh, and I learned how to do this ♥♥♥♥♥ from reading sarahtheboring's journal... See, I do pay attention to what you guys write.

Best. quiz. result. EVAR!!!

Wed, 29 Sep 2004 08:04:15 GMT

YES! Phear my radioactivity biotches!

(Stolen from all_id_forces.)

>
WARNING

geekcynic is radioactive. Wear protective clothing at all times.

From Go-Quiz.com

Mon, 27 Sep 2004 04:37:54 GMT

Hmm... Post more whining about the infinite despair I'm feeling right now or fill out silly quizzes?

Quizzes it is...

(Stolen from all_id_forces.)

Your LJ Prison by redfrog021
Username
Favorite Deadly Sin
You are convicted of	You Have a Mullet; FASHION FELONY!!!!
And sentenced to	10 years
Warden	tigerflute27
Abusive redneck guard	ralphietheroomy
Easy to bribe guard	bardicfeline
Cellmate	shadow_dlp
Wants to make you their bitch	gotzmyntruehope
Drops soap in the shower on purpose	schnauzy
Works in the laundry and smells people's undies	a_dragons_spirt
Comes to see you for 'conjugal visits'	all_id_forces

Quiz created with MemeGen!

I was happier being an introvert...

Sat, 25 Sep 2004 23:44:20 GMT

I don't think that's exactly true, but sometimes I feel like it. It seems like everything is bearing down on me right now and I don't have anywhere to turn for respite. I can't TALK to anyone about it because everyone has some predetermined idea of how I should handle things. I can't POST about it, because every one of my friends reads my LJ and most of them are involved in it some way. Everyone else has some way of escaping from their problems, I can't even play video games any more without my roommate watching over my shoulder and giving me blow by blow commentary. I just need some place to go or something I can do that just let's me distance myself a bit from all the crap that's falling on me right now. Not that that's going to happen. Plus with the way things are going right now, wishing for some time outside the loop would get me marooned on a desert island or stranded in deep space or something. Of course if I was marooned on an island with a generator (and several years worth of gas) a TV, my ps2 and the games that I never have time to finish... No. Never mind. Then I'd just have a monkey sitting over my shoulder saying things like "Oh my... He is very strong..." "Run away!", and "You forgot to pick up some gold over there." Ugh.

Soon to be followed by an actual post.

Wed, 22 Sep 2004 08:15:07 GMT

Stolen from tetetetigi...

LJ Pirate by steely_glint
Username
This week I have mostly been stealing...?
You are a...	Software Pirate
Your ship is called...	The Golden Sprout
Your treacherous first mate is...	hera_tyc
Your loyal bosun is...	hannahs_nanny
Your sexual plaything...umm, I mean your cabin boy	wrongly_amused
You lost your...	Leg
To a...	Cabin boy you molested
And replaced it with a...	Cutlas
Your pirate pet is...	An enraged monkey
Your pirate catchphrase is...	Curse you, syphilis!

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Quizzity quiz quiz...

Sun, 12 Sep 2004 03:34:12 GMT

Stolen from wrongly_amused...

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Moderate
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	High
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Moderate
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	Low
Avoidant:	High
Dependent:	Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

Live in fear of MH: The Ignorinator!

Wed, 25 Aug 2004 06:46:25 GMT

I can't stay mad at MH. I just can't. Still, it kinda sucks that she blows me (and hera_tyc and spookikatt) off to read fanfics or browse the web half of the time. Does she not realize that the internet will still be here tomorrow, and most likely the next day too. Barring some major catastrophe, that is. Even then, I can think of a lot of things I'd like to be doing at the onset of said apocalyptic event and reading fanfics isn't even on the list. Oh well... She'll figure it out sooner or later. Or never. In any case I can't explain it to her.

In other non-bitchy news: Powerade slushies from Sonic are freaking awesome.

That is all.

Hanging in there...

Thu, 19 Aug 2004 06:42:43 GMT

Three more days... Three more days... Three more days 'til I get back to school. Is that a good thing? I'm not sure... It is, however, the only thing giving structure to my life since my hours got cut down to nothing at work this week. Guess I'll find out soon.

Oh. For those who care, my ear feels much better thanks to the magic of antibiotics. Now it just itches like a mofo as opposed to hurting like one. Now where'd I put my icepick?

Life... Blows...

Sat, 14 Aug 2004 03:03:49 GMT

I've been putting off posting for forever in the hopes that I could avoid yet another pissy "life sucks, I'm alone and I hate everyone" rant, but the way things are going if I wait 'til I cheer up, I may never post again. My friends have all basically abandoned me (except for hera_tyc and spookikatt), which sucks ASS. There really isn't much else I can say without sounding petty and bitchy. One thing though... If you profess to have feelings for someone and you go out of state for two weeks, would you at least send them a postcard or call them or SOMETHING at least ONCE? Is that too much to ask? Seriously... I'd have been happy with a "This is me in front of *landmark*. The weather is nice. Wish you were here." *sigh*

Oh, and my ear HURTS LIKE A MOFO. Can't say much more without going into (very) gory detail. Suffice to say that it does, in fact hurt like the aforementioned mofo.

In other, non bitchy news... I got Hellboy on DVD last Saturday, and it was as good as it was the first time. I also watched Secret Window and was completely shocked to find that it didn't suck. Actually it was quite good even though the ending was completely different from the novella.

I live... AGAIN!!!

Sat, 17 Jul 2004 06:27:24 GMT

Well technically I never died, but life has settled into a rather dull routine: work, eat sleep, repeat. Seriously... the last quasi-interesting thing I've done in the last two months is go see Spider Man 2. Oh, and play a whole LOT of FFTA.

I'm craving contact with the outside world, but that isn't going to happen... I'm pissed beyond all reason at MH, who, when questioned as to why I haven't heard from her in a month, replied that she'd been working, sleeping, and "trying to maintain some sort of a social life". This begs the question: Do I not fit into the freaking social life category? I mean, when you're around me you cling to me like a starving lamprey, yet if we're apart for more than a day you forget I exist. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to beg you to be my damn friend. Grrr...

I need a vacation, and some new friends. I guess right now I'll have to settle for more FFTA.

Still alive...

Tue, 29 Jun 2004 06:28:53 GMT

I'm still here, and still alive as far as I know. Went to Montgomery with Kristi today, and spent a boatload of money that I don't have. Picked up my pre-ordered copy of "Megaman Anniversary Collection" and dispelled any doubts I had as to whether old school games are harder than new ones. I also got a couple of CD's including The Flaming Lips' "Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots". It's pretty good considering the high level of weirdness. Actually it reminds me a LOT of MH, who hasn't called or written since I took her out on her b'day. Granted, I DID say I'd call first, but you'd think she'd be curious as to the state of my health. Ach. I'll probably give in and call her tomorrow. Right now, I'm going to play thirty minutes or so of FFTA and let my ridiculously overpowered clan take out my aggressions for me.

Oh Yoshimi. They don't believe me,but she won't let those robots eat me...

Rant of the month...

Sun, 13 Jun 2004 07:59:01 GMT

I just saw the worst commercial ever. It's an old one, but seeing it again has rekindled my hatred for it and the shallowness it represents. It goes something like this: Man and woman (husband and wife, we assume) are standing in some baroque town square filled with people... Man starts shouting "I... LOVE THIS WOMAN!!!" at the top of his lungs. Woman acts more than a little embarrassed/annoyed and tells man to stop. Man goes "I suppose THIS *produces big-ass piece of jewelry* will have to do." Woman's demeanor suddenly changes completely and she falls into his arms chanting in a creepy hypnotic whisper "I love this man...". Jingle plays (Every kiss begins with "Kay") and a picture of some hideous anniversary bling bling flashes.

The moral of the story: Sure she thinks you're annoying and repulsive, but if you continue to bribe her with shiny baubles she will love you... Or at least you'll get some occasionally. Don't think of her as a wife, think of her as your life whore.

Bleh.

In other news I FINALLY (heh) got Final Fantasy Tactics Advance. It's at least as good as the first except: 1.) The story is not nearly as deep -so far, and 2.) Various little tweaks to the gameplay (most notably spells casting instantly) make it too easy. Also... I'm sorry, but if I were whisked away from my mundane existence to a world of magic, adventure, and really hot chicks with rabbit ears my first thought would NOT be "Oh dear, how do I get home!", rather it would be "I'm gonna go buy some expensive, ugly-ass jewelry for the nearest hot rabbit chick, order us a pizza, and then go kill some monsters... eventually".

This concludes my 3 a.m. rant fueled entirely by lack of sleep and excess testosterone.

Heh...

Sat, 12 Jun 2004 18:36:16 GMT

Quiz, code, and art all made by Victor Griffin.

Hee...

Sat, 12 Jun 2004 03:11:43 GMT

I just completed my first 40 hour work week EVAR. And I'm only 22... I must be a prodigy...

Don't believe me regarding my greatness? Just check my acronym:

J	Jolly
A	Awesome
M	Mysterious
E	Emotional
S	Sensational

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

Die spam, DIE!

Wed, 26 May 2004 08:02:59 GMT

You know, as a slacker I have a certain amount of respect for a good scam artist. Not that I condone theft, mind you. It's just that sometimes I just have to admire someone for coming up with a particularly clever way to prey upon the stupid. That being said one of the funnier scams I've seen recently is the one that runs something like:

"Hello, I am *random foreign name* with the First Bank of *random african nation*. I am writing to inform you that (a relative has died/a member of the royal family is in exile/you just have a really honest name) and I would like to deposit *a boatload of money* into your account for safekeeping (snicker). Just give me your account number so we can complete the transaction as soon as possible."

I mean, seriously... That's gold. The fact that someone must have fallen for it makes it even better. Good job Mr. Con Man -Now rot in jail, you bastard.

What ISN'T funny is that EVERY two bit crook on the net has jumped on the bandwagon. Seriously, I'm getting around two of these things EVERY time I check my e-mail. And they keep getting dumber. I mean, I really doubt the president of some international bank is going to have a free hotmail account... Plus, it would help if they tried to come up with a better story occasionally. As it stands it sounds like royal families are ousted every day in Zimbabwe, and I've lost about fifty distant relatives I never knew I had. It's starting to make those "Enl@rge Your Pen1s! Better s3x tonite!" emails seem interesting. Of course what does it say about me, that I actually pay that much attention to spam? Never mind... Don't answer that.

So much for two posts a week...

Wed, 19 May 2004 23:42:48 GMT

For those of you who don't know, school let out last week. I'm stuck here at home, where my access to the Internet is severely limited. My lack of communication with friends along with the weird hours I keep are starting to give me "Last Man on Planet Earth Syndrome", also known as "Desert Island Syndrome". It's characterized by a lapse of personal hygiene coupled with loss of social skills and higher brain function. By higher brain function I mean anything more complicated than changing channels. I need to commence job hunting in earnest before it's too late...